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Breathing Lessons
What can we learn from Michael Phelps stroke of stupidity? PLUS, Dear God, A-Rod, and What Was She Thinking?

by Greg Asimakoupoulos
February 13, 2009

Breathing Lessons
What can we learn from Michael Phelps stroke of stupidity?

You take like a fish to water.
But when comes to grass,
you take a hit like an undisciplined animal.

Like it or not, you're a role model, Mike.
What were you thinking?
In terms of drinking, drugs or casual sex,
how a sports hero behaves effects
what your young fans crave.

Your gold medals may not be tarnished,
but your golden-boy reputation has been.

Are you a has-been?
That has been a water-cooler conversation of late.

Did you feel the need to keep up with the Joneses?
Did Marion's misstep cause you to stumble?
Or was it just freestyle stupidity?

Dear God, A-Rod
Talking turkey with Alex Rodriguez

Dear God, A-Rod,
what did it take so long
to swallow pride and say you lied
admitting you'd done wrong?
Dear God, A-Rod,
why did you have to cheat?
You had it made each time you played.
We cheered you from our feet.
Dear God, A-Rod,
you didn't need to use.
You were a star just as you are
with not a thing to lose.
Dear God, A-Rod,
how could you let them down?
Your young fans ache to know you're fake.
They'll never trust you now.
What Was She Thinking?
Questioning a single mother's sanity

She's a single mom with six small kids
and now she has eight more.
What was she thinking? Well, that's the thing.
She wasn't. Oh, my Lord.

And what about the doctors?
Seems they like playing God.
Why fertilize and plant eight eggs?
Unthinkable. Most odd.

A human life's not Build-a-Bear
at some suburban mall.
Each needs a dad's and mother's love.
They're more than Barbie dolls.

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