Contact Us    
Haulin' Your Hiney Outta There

But it's only a game, officer.

by Richard 'Mr. Moo' Moore
September 17, 2006

Bookmark and Share
Haulin' Your Hiney Outta There
One Adam 12, see the rowdy, drunk obnoxious fan in Section 6 Row 14 Seat 13. And throw them outta here.
Sounds fictitious? But actually it is true. Sort of. Cincinnati Bengals management is calling out fans who are being jerks and removing them from the stadium. Now this isn't a warning that you must sit quietly in your seat for the whole game. But get drunk, being vulgar and obnoxious, throwing things on to the field and you could be watching the rest of the season from the stool at the neighborhood sports bar.
513-381-JERK.  This hot line has been set up to report that crazy fool sitting in your section that everyone would love to throw out of the stadium.
Let's say you are sitting in that section and a fan becomes a fanatic. Excessive foul language, sloppy falling down drunkenness, starting fights with other fans and you have had it. So you pick up your cell phone and call the jerk line. 513-381-JERK.
The stadium has 38 video cameras positioned so security can look in on the subject of your call. If the situation is serious enough, one of the over 500 security officers could be sent to your section. At that point, the officer could make the call to either warn or remove the subject from the stadium. More serious offense could have their season tickets revoked or arrested and taken to jail.
Now part of me has to ask why to we take this game so serious that we would be willing to fight anyone, use language that would make a sailor blush and toss things not nailed down onto the field of play. But I guess when you mix 60 or 70,000 people, lots of beer and emotions running amuck – you're going to have a couple of crazies.
So if you're sitting next to one of them at your next game in Cincinnati, call the jerk line at 513-381-JERK. But be ready to be called a few lovely things as they haul his hiney outta there.

Post a Comment

Send Us Your Opinion
(Comments are moderated.)
Your Name:*

Your E-Mail Address:*
(Confidential. Will not be published.)


Note: In order to control automated spam submissions, URLs are no longer permitted in this form.

Please type the letters you see above.


Bookmark and Share

RSS Feed for Richard 'Mr. Moo' Moore: RSS Feed for Richard 'Mr. Moo' Moore
Sign up to receive an e-mail notice when new articles by this author are published. Your address remains confidential, and you may cancel at any time. A confirmation email will be sent.

Your e-mail address:
po Books
Now Available!

Teachings of a Three Year Old... Turned Tyke,
by Hal Evan Caplan.

A father learns from the wisdom of his toddler.

More Information.

More by Richard 'Mr. Moo' Moore
Hall of Fame is for the Best
Baseball's Vote Will Say Volumes.
by Richard 'Mr. Moo' Moore, 1/7/07
Troops, Duration and Pay Per View
Crunching numbers surrounding the war.
by Richard 'Mr. Moo' Moore, 12/31/06
Passing on Partisanship
Democrats give open mic to a preacher.
by Richard 'Mr. Moo' Moore, 12/24/06
Priorities in our world are all jacked up
Should it be who controls the US Senate or a human life?
by Richard 'Mr. Moo' Moore, 12/17/06
Everything Worth Knowing This Christmas
... I learned by playing Santa Claus.
by Richard 'Mr. Moo' Moore, 12/10/06
Changes in Midwestern Politics
Go figure, Religion is an issue raised.
by Richard 'Mr. Moo' Moore, 10/15/06
It's Wrong - No Matter How You Spin It
Congressman hits on underage pages.
by Richard 'Mr. Moo' Moore, 10/8/06
» Complete List (127)

RSS Feed for Richard 'Mr. Moo' Moore: RSS Feed for Richard 'Mr. Moo' Moore

Recently Published
View Article Remembering a Lesser-Known Carroll
A tribute to Carroll Spinney
by Greg Asimakoupoulos, 12/13/19
A Godwink Defined
Making sense of the coincidences of life
by Greg Asimakoupoulos, 12/6/19
Making Deposits in the Blessing Bank
A grateful heart is a great investment
by Greg Asimakoupoulos, 11/27/19
A Shepherd in Sneakers
Celebrating the ministry of Fred Rogers
by Greg Asimakoupoulos, 11/22/19
Feeding Our Nightmares
The dangerous diet of late night news
by Greg Asimakoupoulos, 11/15/19
Saluting Puget Sound Honor Flights
Pledging allegiance to our Veterans
by Greg Asimakoupoulos, 11/8/19
The Tale of the Flameless Taper
An All-Saints Day Reminder
by Greg Asimakoupoulos, 11/1/19

Get the Partial Observer's
'recently published' headlines via RSS.

RSS Feed for Recently Published PO Articles    What is RSS?
Reproduction of original material from The Partial Observer without written permission is strictly prohibited.
The opinions expressed by site contributors do not necessarily reflect those of the editors.
Copyright ©2000-2019 partialobserver.com. All rights reserved.
Home · Site Map · Top