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Dumb and Dumber

Not the movie, but this senseless presidential campaign, Plus: Rays Shine in the Sun

by Greg Asimakoupoulos
October 24, 2008

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Dumb and Dumber

Dumb and Dumber
Not the movie, but this senseless presidential campaign

This campaign's way too long for me.
It's dumb and getting dumber.
We're focusing on two strange Joes.
The Six Pack and the Plumber.

A weatherman named Bill is back.
The forecast's outta sight.
There's Tony Rezko, Troopergate
and Jeremiah Wright.

There's hockey moms that wear lipstick
and pigs with different shades
that pale in contrast to a Gov
who looks like Tina Fey.

The prophet Louis Farrakhan
says B O's the Messiah.
It seems that Oprah thinks that too.
I'd call that blasphemia.

Just twelve more days and then we vote.
Oh promise me that's true.
I'm sick to death of slinging mud.
I'm nauseous. Aren't you?

Rays Shine in the Sun
Once they left the Devil in the dust

From worst to first in just one year.
The Rays are beaming bright.
The A L Cinderella team
wears crystal shoes tonight.

This fairytale began last fall.
The boss had faith. And then
he forced the Devil from the Rays
and they began to win.

The old was gone. The new had come.
New name and sense of worth.
A miracle the faithful say.
A genuine rebirth.

The Sunshine State is aptly named.
It really love its Rays
who shine with hope and faith and grace
on these October days.

And there's a lesson we can learn
from down in Tampa Bay.
Resist the Devil. Start brand new.
And then (with joy) just play.

* Curiously, the worst team in Major League Baseball last year became the best team in the American League this year. It all took place after the team owners removed the Devil from team's name last November. The Tampa Bay Devil Rays began the 2008 season as The Tampa Bay Rays. 

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elm from 98801 writes:
October 27, 2008
1. "Our economy, I think, is still ? the fundamentals of our economy are strong." ?John McCain, Jacksonville, Fla., Sept. 15, 2008.
2. "The issue of economics is not something I've understood as well as I should. I've got Greenspan's book." ?McCain, as quoted in the Boston Globe, Dec. 17, 2007.
3. "As Putin rears his head and comes into the air space of the United States of America, where ? where do they go? It's Alaska. It's just right over the border." ?Sarah Palin, explaining why Alaska's proximity to Russia gives her foreign policy experience, interview with CBS News's Katie Couric, Sept. 24, 2008.
4. "[Sarah Palin] knows more about energy than probably anyone else in the United States of America. ... And, uh, she also happens to represent, be governor of a state that's right next to Russia." ?McCain on Palin's foreign policy experience, interview with WCSH-6, Portland, OR, Sept. 12, 2008.
5. "They are also building schools for the Afghan children so that there is hope and opportunity in our neighboring country of Afghanistan." ?Palin, speaking at a fundraiser in San Francisco, Oct. 5, 2008.
6. "Well, let's see. There's ? of course in the great history of America there have been rulings that there's never going to be absolute consensus by every American, and there are those issues, again, like Roe v. Wade, where I believe are best held on a state level and addressed there. So, you know, going through the history of America, there would be others but ?" ?Palin, unable to name a Supreme Court decision she disagreed with other than Roe vs. Wade, interview with Katie Couric, CBS News, Oct. 1, 2008.
7. "I think ? I'll have my staff get to you. It's condominiums where ? I'll have them get to you." ?McCain, after being asked how many houses he and his wife, Cindy, own, interview with Politico, Las Cruces, N.M., Aug. 20, 2008. ( 5 -7 McCain residences?)

8. "I'll try to find you some and I'll bring them to you." ?Palin, asked by Katie Couric to cite specific examples of how John McCain has pushed for more regulation in his 26 years in the Senate, CBS interview, Sept. 24, 2008.
9. "All of 'em, any of 'em that have been in front of me over all these years." ?Palin, unable to name a single newspaper or magazine she reads, interview with Katie Couric, CBS News, Sept. 30, 2008.
10. "I think if you're just talking about income, how about $5 million?" ?McCain, after being asked by Rev. Rick Warren to define "rich," Lake Forest, California, Aug. 16, 2008.
11. "Maybe a hundred...That would be fine with me." ?McCain, to a questioner who asked if he supported President Bush's vision for keeping U.S. troops in Iraq for 50 years, Derry, New Hampshire, Jan. 3, 2008.
12. "Pray for our military men and women who are striving to do what is right. Also, for this country, that our leaders, our national leaders, are sending soldiers out on a task that is from God. That's what we have to make sure that we're praying for, that there is a plan and that that plan is God's plan." ?Pailn, on the Iraq war, speaking to students at the Wasilla Assembly of God, June 2008.
13. "You know that old Beach Boys song, Bomb Iran? Bomb bomb bomb, bomb bomb Iran." ?McCain, breaking into song after being asked at a VFW meeting about whether it was time to send a message to Iran, Murrells Inlet, South Carolina, April 18, 2007.

14. "There was an energy bill on the floor of the Senate loaded down with goodies, billions for the oil companies, and it was sponsored by Bush and Cheney. You know who voted for it? You might never know. That one." ?McCain, pointing to Barack Obama during the second presidential debate, Nashville, Tennessee, Oct. 7, 2008.

15. "I told the Congress, 'Thanks, but no thanks,' on that Bridge to Nowhere." ?Palin, who was for the Bridge to Nowhere before she was against it, multiple speeches.
16. "I was looking at the Sturgis schedule, and noticed that you had a beauty pageant, so I encouraged Cindy to compete. I told her [that] with a little luck, she could be the only woman to serve as both the First Lady and Miss Buffalo Chip." ?McCain, on the annual Miss Buffalo Chip Pageant, which features topless (and occasionally bottomless) contestants, Sturgis, South Dakota, Aug. 4, 2008.

17. "I'm the mayor, I can do whatever I want until the courts tell me I can't.'" ?Palin, as quoted by former City Council Member Nick Carney, after he raised objections about the $50,000 she spent renovating the mayor's office without approval of the city council.
18. "I'm very, very pleased to be cleared of any legal wrongdoing ... any hint of any kind of unethical activity there. Very pleased to be cleared of any of that." ?Palin, after an Alaska legislative report found she had broken the state's ethics law and abused her power in the Troopergate scandal, conference call with Alaska reporters, Oct. 12, 2008.
19. "She's a partner and a soul-mate." ?McCain on Palin, whom he had met only once before selecting her to be his running mate, "FOX News Sunday" interview, Aug. 31, 2008.
20. "At least I don't plaster on the makeup like a trollop, you c*nt." ?McCain, to his wife, Cindy, after she playfully twirled his hair and said "You're getting a little thin up there," as reported in the book The Real McCain by Cliff Schecter.
21. "That's exactly what we're going to do in a Palin and McCain administration." ?Palin, elevating herself to the top of the ticket, Cedar Rapids, Iowa, Sept. 18, 2008.
22. "We grow good people in our small towns, with honesty and sincerity and dignity." ?Palin, in her speech at the Republican Convention, quoting the fascist right-wing columnist Westbrook Pegler, an avowed racist and anti-Semite who once lamented that Franklin Roosevelt's would-be assassin hit the wrong man and also expressed his hope that Robt. F. Kennedy would be gunned down.
23. "Honestly, I have to analyze our relationships, situations and priorities, but I can assure you that I will establish closer relationships with our friends, and I will stand up to those who want to harm the United States. ... I have a clear record of working with leaders in the hemisphere that are friends with us and standing up to those who are not. And that's judged on the basis of the importance of our relationship with Latin America and the entire region." ?McCain, after being asked if he would invite Spanish President Jose Rodriguez Louis Zapatero to the White House, casting an ally of the U.S. as a potential enemy while simultaneously confusing Spain for a Latin American country, interview with Radio Caracol Miami, Sept. 17, 2008.

24. "As for that VP talk all the time, I'll tell you, I still can't answer that question until somebody answers for me what is it exactly that the VP does every day?" ?Palin, interview with CNBC's "Kudlow & Co", July 2008.
25. "Across this country this is the agenda I have set before my fellow prisoners. And the same standards of clarity and candor must now be applied to my opponent." ?McCain, Bethlehem, Penn., Oct. 8, 2008.

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Sunday Rhymes and Reasons is a compilation of inspirational poetry by America's pastor/poet laureate, Greg Asimakoupoulos. In this, his third volume of poetry, Pastor Greg paints word pictures that portray both the struggle and fulfillment that define a life of faith. His repertoire of rhymes celebrate rite-of-passage occasions like birth, baptism, marriage and death as well as the major holidays of the church and culture. It is a volume that illustrates the poet's love of words and of popular culture. The author dips his brush into a paint box of hubris, humor and honesty.

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