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Noises Off!

Random thoughts on random subjects.

by S.E. Shepherd
April 6, 2003

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Noises Off!_S.E. Shepherd-Random thoughts on random subjects. Because I haven’t been able to find a subject I feel like filling a whole article about, and due to the demise of the “Open Mike” forum, I find myself full of a bunch of comments on our society at large and no place to put them, I decided to splice them all into one dizzying column. As the oft-quoted line from “All About Eve” goes, “buckle up, sister, it’s going to be a bumpy ride!”

* * *

Has anyone else seen the stupid Michelina’s commercial where a woman sings the praises of their frozen dinner to the tune (and dance) of the “Macarena?” As if the original version wasn’t annoying enough.

* * *

Diane Sawyer is no Barbara Walters. Watching her interview Lisa-Marie Presley, it was clear Ms. Presley didn’t want to talk in detail about several subjects, but Sawyer kept hammering away at her. Several times, I fully expected Presley to say, “Look you (expletive)! I don’t want to talk about that! Can you please ask me about something other than (my father, Michael Jackson, Nicholas Cage)??”

Presley seemed defensive (and rightfully so) throughout much of the interview. Sawyer sounded more judgmental than journalistic when she inquired about Presley’s marriage to Michael Jackson. Presley answered Sawyer’s questions quite well, but Sawyer continued with her what-were-you-thinking? attitude.

* * *

I am sure no album is more anticipated than Presley’s debut. She is probably the most unfortunate offspring since Julian Lennon, as far as being compared to her father. It is amazing how much she resembles Elvis, and from the clips of her video shown throughout the interview, it seems the swagger is genetic. Lisa-Marie is very defensive of her father and tries very hard not to imitate him, but as they say, sometimes it’s in the genes, and she is her father’s daughter.

Lisa-Marie purposely delayed (and for a time, avoided) starting a music career because she didn’t want to be seen cashing in on her father’s legend. Here’s hoping the best for her; that people judge her on her own merits and not try to make her into the second coming of her father. Maybe Julian Lennon can give her some advice.

* * *

One last thing about the Lisa-Marie interview; the main reason I watched was to hear her music, but we got very few samplings during the interview. Maybe the record executives were afraid too much exposure would hurt sales of the curious. Well, we’ll all know April 8th, when her album is finally released.

* * *

Kordell Stewart?? The Bears pin their franchise and Super Bowl hopes on Kordell Stewart?

* * *

With all the scandals involving celebrity wannabes appearing on all the “reality” shows (American Idol, Big Brother, etc.), I agree with Chicago Sun-Times columnist Richard Roeper, who suggested the next reality show/game show should be to figure out which participant has the felony record, which did softcore porn, and so on. It should be called “I’ve Got A Secret” or “Skeletons” (as in those hidden in closets). Be sure to watch for it on FOX this fall…

* * *

Arby’s spends millions of advertising dollars so some agency can come up with a singing, talking oven mitt.

* * *

Finally, the passing away of Fred Rogers firmly closes a time when things were simpler, kinder, and neighborhoods were friendlier. The "Barney" generation will never know what it lost.

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