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The Great Batarfi World Summit

The Cartoon Controversy Resolved

by Sal Rosken
February 13, 2006

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The Great Batarfi World Summit

"That's why I am calling for widening the scope of the anti-Semitism laws that protect Jews to include the rest of us. Can anyone explain to me why not? " – Dr. Khaled M. Batarfi.

In a recent "Arab News" article, leading Saudi journalist, Dr. Khaled M. Batarfi, has called for a universal law to protect the religion of Islam from satirical attacks like the one that recently appeared in the form of twelve cartoons in the Danish newspaper Jyllands-Posten. Under Dr. Batarfi's law it would be a criminal offense anywhere in the world to illustrate, satirically or otherwise, the historical figure whom Muslims allege to be a prophet of God.

It must be admitted; the good Saudi doctor of communications has a most excellent idea. Such a law would certainly be viewed by the 1.5 billion Muslims around the world as a positive step towards forcing the Infidel into respecting Islam, and it would begin to prepare the Non Muslims for life under Sharia law. Of course, in order to implement such a grand universal law, an unprecedented international summit would need to be convened. In honor of the good doctor's great wisdom, demonstrated in suggesting the law, the summit should be named The Great Batarfi World Summit.

The Great Batarfi World Summit would bring together disparate religious leaders from around the world such as the Roman Catholic Pope, the Archbishop of Canterbury, the Dalai Lama, the leading Rabbis of Israel, the Grand Imam of Mecca and all other leading representatives of the other religions and sects from around the world. At the same time, the summit would summon together the world's political leaders such as George W. Bush, Tony Blair, Jacques Chirac, Vladimir Putin, Angela Merkel, and all of the other leaders of the world's many nations.

This Grand Assembly of Religious and Political leaders would meet to agree upon, draft and pass Dr. Batarfi's universal law, which would ban all Non Muslims, anywhere in the world, from referring to Islam in even the slightest disrespectful way, or from offending Muslim sensibilities in any form whatsoever.

In honor of Dr. Batarfi, a devout Saudi Muslim, deeply offended by the Danish Cartoons, the Great Batarfi World Summit will be held in the Roman Catholic Cathedral of Mecca. Uh. Oh, no wait. Never mind. The summit will be held in the Great Synagogue of Mecca. Uh, wait, no, no wait – the Anglican church of Mecca. No. Drat, No, that doesn't work either. The summit will be held in the Hindu Temple of Mecca. Hmm. No, let's see. Ah yes, yes there is a solution. We will hold the Summit in the Grand Mosque of Mecca. Yes, yes, that will work.

What? No. No, hold on a minute. This is embarrassing. Most of the world's political and religious leaders attending the summit are not Muslim and would not be permitted to even enter the city of Mecca to get to the great summit. Damnation. How frustrating. Ah, wait I've got it. We'll move this great summit to the Roman Catholic Cathedral of Medina. Ah, no, not there either. The Synagogue of Medina. Oh Bother, that doesn't work either. Never mind.

Doctor Batarfi's summit is hereby cancelled.

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