Contact Us    
The Apostrophe

Short Fiction

by Everett Wilson
February 9, 2003

Bookmark and Share

The Apostrophe_Everett Wilson-Short Fiction It was an apostrophe that snapped the thin thread of patience previously connecting Arthur Metgard to the world of his work, his family, his church, and his hobbies.

Leroy was creating a display of fresh peaches when he felt a tug at his sleeve. “Excuse me,” a male voice said, “What does the banana have to sell for fifty-seven cents?”

Leroy turned to face the source of the crazy question, a small, middle—aged man, overdressed for the supermarket in a three-piece suit, with a tiny smile on his face that barely lifted the corners of his mouth. “Huh?” Leroy said.

“The sign reads “Banana’s, 57c,” the man said. I want to know what the banana has to sell for fifty-seven cents. I thought the bananas themselves were for sale, but apparently not. They are obviously offering something else for sale——something unspecified.”

Leroy struggled. The manager had warned that if he was caught being rude to a customer just one more time, he would be “out on his butt”——the manager not being especially concerned about modelling the courtesy she demanded from him. He hated the job, but he needed it until he began college in the fall.

“The bananas are fifty—seven cents a pound, sir.” He was proud that he got the “sir” out of his mouth.

“I see,” the man said. “Then one of the bananas owns something worth more than itself and two or so of its companions. I cat(t tell which banana is the owner. The sign doesn’t say.”

Leroy breathed deeply. “Can I help you in some way, sir?”

“I suspect you can, but you may not,” the man said. “I don’t believe I am interested in buying what the banana is selling. I was only curious as to what it is.”

•‘No banana is selling nothing,” Leroy almost shouted, then added, "sir.”

“Oh my,” the man said. “I can hardly figure that out. I thought just one banana had something to sell and now you say they all do.”

“I didn’t say that!”

“Dont get upset. I am sure no one told you what the banana was selling. The manager probably knows.” The man turned away.

“No, wait!” Leroy was almost babbling. “Listen, I just remembered, a special deal. That top banana there is selling peaches, see? Fifty—seven cents, just like the bananas.”

“Well, thank you very much,” the man said. “Please forgive me for being so curious.”

Arthur Metgard left the store, too exhilarated to purchase whatever it was his wife had sent him to buy. His pleasant smile flattened into a stern line; his eyes darkened to a steely blue. Usage Man had struck. He would strike again.

Comments (2)

Post a Comment

Larry White from Keosauqua, Iowa writes:
January 16, 2006
No comments? Are you kidding, or do you wipe the slate clean every day? I love your stuff--already a fan of Doug and Jim Wilson, so maybe I'm partial. I have enjoyed every one of your columns, so let this be my constant comment.

Everett Wilson from Chetek, WI writes:
January 17, 2006
Thanks for the letter. I treasure every one, because they are few. If the mailbox gets clogged at PO, it won't be in response to my stuff!

For those who care to know, since Larry brought it up, Jim Wilson of Community Christian Ministries is my brother - author, pastor, and Christian apologist Doug Wilson is my nephew - and James Leroy Wilson of The Partial Observer and Independent Country is my son. There are lots of Jim Wilsons.

I am also Barnabas, with over a hundred columns archived at the PO. Some people like me better than Barnabas, and the other way around. Two names, different agendas.

Send Us Your Opinion
(Comments are moderated.)
Your Name:*

Your E-Mail Address:*
(Confidential. Will not be published.)


Note: In order to control automated spam submissions, URLs are no longer permitted in this form.

Please type the letters you see above.


Bookmark and Share

Real Things
A novel.
Published January 2, 2008
Temporarily Unavailable

Real Things first appeared in serialized form on the Partial Observer in 2001. It is now available in print for the first time.

Over thirty years after a senseless crash redefined his life, Greg Thompson and his family finally learn why.

More Information
RSS Feed for Everett Wilson: RSS Feed for Everett Wilson
Sign up to receive an e-mail notice when new articles by this author are published. Your address remains confidential, and you may cancel at any time. A confirmation email will be sent.

Your e-mail address:
The Apostrophe
po Books
Now Available!

Teachings of a Three Year Old... Turned Tyke,
by Hal Evan Caplan.

A father learns from the wisdom of his toddler.

More Information.

More by Everett Wilson
Necessary Things, A Companion and Sequel to Real Things
Available from Amazon Books, Amazon Kindle, and Me!
by Everett Wilson, 2/16/15
Until Barrett is Free, Neither Are We
Freedom of the Press is not a whim of the state
by Everett Wilson, 2/26/14
Why the United States Will not Get Competent Universal Health Care in my Lifetime
Six Obvious Reasons
by Everett Wilson, 11/15/13
An Open Letter to Congressman Jeff Fortenberry
Clean Sweep Time
by Everett Wilson, 10/2/13
An Open Letter to Congressman Jeff Fortenberry
Clean Sweep Time
by Everett Wilson, 10/1/13
Excerpt from my new novel, Scoundrels and Fools
Chapter 5: Ellis Johnson
by Everett Wilson, 7/12/13
The Rev. Marjorie Drickey's Last Message to a Dying World
And all the trumpets sounded for her on the other side.
by Everett Wilson, 2/14/13
» Complete List (151)

RSS Feed for Everett Wilson: RSS Feed for Everett Wilson

Recently Published
View Article My Girl Friday
A toast to all administrative assistants
by Greg Asimakoupoulos, 6/11/21
Two Giant Hands in Tulsa
Praying for forgiveness and healing
by Greg Asimakoupoulos, 6/4/21
To a Field of Dreams
Memorial Day ponderings
by Greg Asimakoupoulos, 5/28/21
Don't Mask! Don't Tell!
It's about time for about face
by Greg Asimakoupoulos, 5/21/21
Liz Cheney's Not Lon Chaney
Why recent events on Capitol Hill resemble a horror show
by Greg Asimakoupoulos, 5/14/21
A Mothers' Day Hymn
Remembering our moms with gratitude to our Heavenly Father
by Greg Asimakoupoulos, 5/7/21
A Crumbling Foundation
What are we to make of Bill and Melinda Gates' divorce?
by Greg Asimakoupoulos, 5/4/21

Get the Partial Observer's
'recently published' headlines via RSS.

RSS Feed for Recently Published PO Articles    What is RSS?

Reproduction of original material from The Partial Observer without written permission is strictly prohibited.
The opinions expressed by site contributors do not necessarily reflect those of the editors.
Copyright ©2000-2021 partialobserver.com. All rights reserved.
Home · Site Map · Top